If you saw this in the news and were thinking that it was me, you were wrong. To be honest I actually do like some of McDonald’s breakfast items. Also I feel that it’s inappropriate to fire a sawed-off shotgun into a McDonalds drive through window. That is unless the McD’s has been overrun with zombies, as only then it would be acceptable. Write that down.
I was informed while I was at shitty friend and Shanks birthday bar party on Saturday night that I suck the blog. Basically it was a pile-on issued by Denise, including Christie, and Kristel (or DiCK if you will) outlining what a douchbag Helmey is for abandoning the blogapalooza. You’ll have to trust me when I tell you this wasn’t the sexy kind of triple team either. I had to throw that in here so when people google “sexy triple team” they get tricked into stopping by here now that I have alienated all three of my regular readers.
I don’t have an excuse as to why I haven’t posted in so long. I did have the month off as I was laid off on 2/23 and started my new job on 3/23. At the B-Day bash JeromEEE (whatever the fuck that’s all about) asked me what I had been up to as no one had heard from or seen me in quite a while. The worst part is I just sat there blank. I couldn’t remember. How sad for me.
Later it started to come back. I pretty much spent my time like a retired old man trying to keep myself busy by yelling at the neighborhood kids and hoping to not suffer the indignity of not making it to the bathroom on time and peeing my pants. Please note: I don’t have a bladder problem, I have a crown royal problem, and I’ve gotten lazier.
I do have a few things to show from my forced sabbatical. I, like many of you have tried my hand at arts and crafts. I built this awesome display all by my self from scratch. I won’t go into details but it took a few weeks to acquire all the necessary items to complete this masterpiece. You should have seen the pride in Brandy’s eyes once she saw the finished product proudly on display in my office.
Its OK. You can click on it. It's awesome...
The rest of the time I have been toting the Captain around. The Captain or Cappy as we call him is the newest addition to our family.
Meet the Captain…
He is still afraid of stairs, well just the going down part. So he starts screwing around and runs up stairs and gets stranded. He sits a top the staircase barking and whining until I bring him back down, just so he can go up again 3 minutes later so we can repeat the ritual.
"Help! I need a ride!"
As I sit here I realize that there are more post worthy topics that I could write about from the past 30 days or so. But then I would be out of topics again and have to wait another month for my next post. I can’t get excited and shoot my blog wad all at once… I must pace myself…
Welcome back Helmey!!!
