Wanna shiver me timbers?

Holy shit!! Its international talk like a pirate day today and I didn’t even know. Thanks Courtney for the heads up and making me feel like a shitty Ninjirate. Thus you all pretty much need to get your pirate talk on today. This link Courtney sent me should help with any questions.

 

It seems Brandy has finally decided to show up to the blogapalooza. The following is the transcript from last night.

 

Brandy “So I found your blog”

Helm “It’s about time! So what do you think?”

Brandy gives Helm the wife look

Helm “It’s awesome huh?”

Brandy gives an even more disgusted/disturbed version of the wife look.

 

So lets all welcome Brandy to the land of blogapalooza. This is assuming she will be back.

 

Its time to update the ECSE from yesterday. But first did you notice how the Dow is up over 300 points from just yesterday the SAME day the ECSE is open for business? Coincidence? I think not!

 

Here is today’s mini ticker…

 

(B) Brandy Holding steady at 69.00 up 49 points from yesterday. The surge is mainly due to her participation on the blogapalooza and for what I did to her last night while she was sleeping. The stock capping out only due to making me eat at Marie Callenders last night. That place sucks…

 

(HH) Heath up to 16.00 from 15.00. This is due to him calling to bitch about his value being the same as Wayman’s.

 

All other values are unchanged. Here is the list of folks that just went public today and their IPO’s.

 

(WP) Courtney AKA the WordPerv’s IPO is set at 11.50. The two main economic factors are that she is the one that informed me of today’s pirate awesomeness and getting shitfaced and puking on her blind date right after telling him she loved him. At least she didn’t shit her pants (or was that omitted from the post?).

 

(KPH) Karen’s IPO is at 9. She was one of the first blogs on my blogroll. It was added within seconds of reading this post (I had to clean coffee off my monitor after spitting it out and choking). However the Karen has been slacking (with posts and with Helm comments) for the past few months holding her IPO down a bit. Just because my blog is getting worse is no excuse. In her defense Karen has also been dodging various hurricanes and we are just happy she is safe.

 

(SHM) Shitty Helper Monkey Denise IPO is set at 1 cent as there is no lower currency amount available. In her plea for an outrageous IPO she commented things like “I have put up with you for the past two years”, “allowed Heath to hang out with you” and "photographed you on many occasions (which I never got paid)”. Right. First you should thank me as I have let you keep Heath. I could at anytime engage the plan “operation the nest is empty” as I’m sure you remember. As far as putting up with me and taking Helm photos go, I feel as you should be paying me. I am that awesome; however I will continue to provide this service for free. Lastly I never need an invite to crash a party. It’s how I roll and I will be there, without pants on.

 

(KEL) Kelli comes out with a strong 12.50 IPO. This is as she has witnessed the awesomeness known as El Capitan in person and appreciates sitting in pee (on two different occasions). Kelli attempts to come off as hardcore however I feel riding around on a white scooter with cheetah scarves proves otherwise. Her IPO gets a small nudge from her mom also knowing and acknowledging how awesome I am.

 

(WC) Doni breaks out with a 14.00 IPO. She outlined it better than I could in her comment on my last post. Go check it out for details. Warning…Don’t get carried away and let her touch your roth. Doni has also has the pleasure of Hangin' with Helm.

 

(STIME) The Summer offering is at 6.75. Summer is a new Helmey BlogBFF yet has already had the opportunity to hang out in the flesh. According to her blog (hidden under the shroud of anonymity) meeting the Helm had quite an effect on her. Actually I’m full of shit but it made me smile none the less. Summer’s value will increase as she keeps up on her blogging, blogapalooza commenting, and discontinues hanging out in the trees by my house with the binoculars. It’s starting to freak me out…

 

(SS) Sunshine will open at 3 bucks even. It’s in honor of her love for three rivers stadium and the black and gold that calls it home. It’s also low due to the fact that she’s the first one to remind me each weekend of how shitty the Lions played. Watch this stock. If she posts a photo of herself in a Calvin Johnson jersey and apologizes for her prior actions, this stock could triple overnight.

 

It doesn’t seem Mary, Jenny, or Mel are ready to go public just yet. They did comment but made no attempt to sway their respective values. Correct me if I’m wrong ladies.

Comments

[Karen]

Nine? NINE?????

I can do better. Skyooze me while I post something.

[WindyCity]

WooHoo I break out with $14, but I can guarantee my price will probably remain stable for at least the rest of the quarter. However, due to future planned trips to the SLC, my price should rise significantly. The more time in my presence the more awesome I become.

As for Karen (Knaps) - she needs all the help she can get, dodging hurricanes is hard work! Just stickin' up for my girl.

Hi Brandy!

[Original Summer]

You know, I really don't appreciate you telling the whole internet about me hanging out in your bushes spying on you. I mean, I got the point after you called the cops on me the last time. And really, a restraining order? Don't you think that was a bit extreme?

I'm commenting now AND I posted a new post today so hopefully my stock will start to climb. Slow and steady. Like a turtle. Wait...maybe stocks and turtles are not a good analogy...anyway, you get the point.

Hi Brandy! Sorry about stepping on the flowers.

[Karen]

This should do it:

You've been nominated:

http://knaphrodesiac.blogspot.com/2008/09/and-id-like-to-thank-academy.html

[Brandy]

My stock is not worth nearly enough. Funny that I'm reading this while I'm in the process of updating my life insurance.

Care to up my stock price??????

[Sunshine]

Three bucks??? Some things need to be corrected, Three rivers stadium has been long gone, and the new stadium to call home is now Heinz Field! I will post a picture in Calvins or with a johnson but I cannot, will not and would not post it with Calvin Johnson. You shoudl look to see my real worth as being LOYAL and HONEST... maybe the government can bail me out too? NO need to apologize, you told me I SUCK but I forgave you and still continue to read... I am hurt.... I probably went down in price to match Denise but hey, we will keep each other company since she will also chant GO STEELERS!!!!!

[Caleal]

Avast! This makes no sense to me, for I am Dumb Like That.

But I am amused none the less.

[kel]

My stock should automatically go up b/c I'm a Charger's fan and we got screwed in the last game; therefore I get sympathy points. Also, living in SoCal and owning a piece of the land that might, indeed, someday be a part of the Ocean should help me move closer to 20.5, really. If those aren't good enough reasons, how 'bout the fact that I think you're sooo awesome I even got my mom reading and praying for you.

[Mel]

I wasn't aware that I needed to plead my case, as I just thought you KNEW how awesome I am...obviously not. Is it because I've failed to post for nearly a month? I've been busy...WORKING..protecting the lives of the citizens of my county...does that not just automatically skyrocket my value?! I believe it should. Plus, I think I should get extra points for being (probably) your youngest reader. Nuff said.

[Kristi S]

I just heard last night it was "Talk like a Pirate Day" and I instantly thought of you....I would've e-mailed ya but I didn't get home until LATE

[Latent Image]

Clearly you left my price off as to not make the rest of the field jealous. I'd plead my case but i'm lazy and in need of a drink.

[Word Perv]

Ahhh yes. I'm so pleased to debut at a measly 11.50. *sigh* Yes, I threw up on my date (but not ON him), and NO I did not shit my pants. But I have successfully seen him naked since then, so clearly, did something right. ;)

[Denise H.]

You SUCK! And, I am giving you the wife look.

[Denise H.]

Okay I now have a gripe on Heaths total too. He should be a hell of a lot higher than 16 bucks considering that he spent an entire day and a building your deck.