Things to do before I die...

Dammit Candy!

Candy tagged me to do a meme or whatever this shitty chain-blog thing is called. In my never-ending quest to take over be accepted in the blogging community I will not only spare her life, but I will actually make a half assed attempt to participate. Don’t let this encourage you by any means as this is a one time only deal. I do feel that it’s my duty to get the full blogging experience as I ascend into blog infamy. Considering it's in accordance with the prophesy, it is out of my hands.

Apparently I’m supposed to name 8 things I would like to do before I die, and then chain-blog 8 other people to doing the same. Noncompliance will result in spontaneous combustion (you not me). You might notice "having the number one blog in the entire world" isn’t on my list. That is because I have already achieved this goal. Recognize...

 

Enough talk...lets do this...

 

1.   Punch David Caruso in the face. If the name doesn’t ring a bell he plays Horatio on CSI Miami and appears in numerous shitty movies.

2.   Break this guy’s record. If you don’t want to click the link, it’s the guy recently arrested in Rhode Island after wrecking his car into a highway message board. Apparently he had a blood alcohol rating of .491 (6 x the legal limit) I however will attempt this record at home as drunk driving = bad and is not how I roll.

3.   Be listed in either the dictionary or the Guinness Book of WR under most awesomeist. Only one will be fine as I’m not greedy

4.   Become king of the world.

5.   To rid the earth of zombies once and for all.

6.   While in the act of achieving goal 2, find out how much pee a depends diaper can hold until it explodes

7.   Being certified as the worlds only Ninjirate (Ninja and Pirate), I would like to lead an elite crime fighting team throughout Canada to make it safe again. (or to wear a cool costume).

8.   Heli-Ski the Swiss Alps…

9. (Bonus item as eight is not enough) To man the tennis ball cannon/gun thing on “American Gladiators” as Candy runs the course to get her back for making me do this…

 

Now for my victims tagees (random pick)...

 

Rachael, Sunshine, Kim, Denise (my shitty helper monkey), Princess Mikk (as she's not only a toolette, she had 80's hair in the 90's), Karen as she quit commenting on my blog and must be punished, Courtney, and Caleal. Sorry...it's Candy's fault...

                 

Comments

[Word Perv]

Oh FUCK!!! I laughed my ass off at #7: Being certified as the worlds only Ninjirate (Ninja and Pirate), I would like to lead an elite crime fighting team throughout Canada to make it safe again. (or to wear a cool costume).

SOOOO FUNNY!!

And dammit, you tagged me. Be on the lookout for mine in the near future!

[Becky]

Hey! It was 1992! Doesn't that count as CLOSE to the 80's?

But awww, I'm a Toolette.

Fine you jerk. I'll do it!

[Denise H.]

You SUCK! I hate these chain things! I think maybe I will play shitty helper monkey and ignore you! hehe

[Kristi S]

You must be so incredibly proud of such a fine list of things to accomplish!

[caleal]

I refuse to participate on the grounds that the tagger didn't take the exercise seriously. :P

Also, because it makes me sad I don't have eight people to tag. !!!

[Shelly]

Found your blog through Becky's aka Princess Mikkimoto :) I love your goals! Please let me know how number 6 goes because I'm laughing at how uncomfortable that's going to be. Might've been a pain to get tagged but it put a smile on my face.

[Candy]

I feel the need to comment on a goal by goal basis.

1. Have you not seen The Mask? There is a scene in that movie that I don't think Caruso is in, but the woman in the movie is standing on her bed in her stiletto heals against the headboard and the guy is kneeling...well...it was a shitty movie but that scene was worth the price of admission.

2. I was pretty sure you already broke that in Mehico.

3. Will Wikipedia work? I'm willing to put you in myself, but it will cost you. You can add it to my bill.

4. Someone asked me why I didn't list Queen of the World on my list. Now, having read yours, I feel oddly violated.

5. Please start with John McCain.

6. You will test this on route to your astronaut boyfriend's girlfriend's house, right?

7. Snort!

8. Let me guess - you don't ski, right?

9. I don't THINK so.

But thanks for participating. I think we just popped your blog cherry.

[Sunshine]

You tagged me and sent me a comment reminding me of this wonderful honor. At least you can do is let me know before you smack me in the ass....
Thanks a million! But since I am a team player , and that's how I roll, I will do it!!!!

[Sunshine]

My job is complete... and if you do not get a increase in your comments it is not my fault... thanks again for the fun...

[LeeAnn Howard]

Let us know how you do on your list!! LOL!!!

[Word Perv]

It's done. Check it out: http://wordperv.com/?p=390

[Denise H.]

Take a Chill Pill Helm. I completed my task so check it out.

[Karen]

I'm sorry. I could tell to read my post today and then you'd feel all shitty for saying I haven't commented when CLEARLY I'm having a hard time right now, but....

I'm not that girl, so instead I'll be thankful that you tagged me so that at least I can post something that won't require brain cells.

Woot!

[ncgirl3608]

Ok, as to your number one, if you want to start listing people to punch, can I throw in David Hasselhoff? Or better yet, I will just do it myself before I die.

[Sunshine]

Job completed... your welcome!

[Monica]

You're hilarious indeed! nice blog... ;-)

[Rachael]

List is posted...or two of them rather.

[Robyn]

Holy shit .49 I thought my .23 for my underage drinking ticket was up there.