The mexi-ventures…

Contrary to what some might believe, we did take time from drinking to actually do some shit outside of the resort. A bunch of my friends have asked me if I had a chance to swim with the dolphins. The answer is that as much as I would have liked to, I did not. My reasoning is that I have been told that dolphins can become sexually attracted to humans and are the only other creatures on gods earth that have sex for fun. It goes without saying that I looked awesome the entire trip, or it might have been the “beer goggles”, but to error on the side of caution I will go with looked awesome. The last thing I wanted to do was spark an international incident by having an American dude get gang raped by a bunch of Mexican dolphins. Its not that I have anything against dolphins but more so that I hear the underwater sex thing rarely works out, and that I’m married.

I think I’d better move on…

I had a chance to do my first wreck dive while I was there. It was a Mexican warship about 90 feet down, about 12 miles of the coast. To be honest diving throughout the vessel amongst the schools of fish and other sea life was one of the most awesome things I have ever done. The only drawback other than being hung over was the other 6 divers just happened to be douche bags. Typically divers have some sort of comradely but not with this group. The haters were very careful not make eye contact with, speak to, or acknowledge my very existence.

We took a ferry to the island “Isla Mujeres”. It was Brandy’s idea as the direct translation is the "Island of Women". We get off the boat and instantly are mobbed by the locals demanding we buy the shitty shit they had for sale. Then a dude comes up and offers a golf cart for us to rent to tour the island…jackpot. We circle the island making the deco and/or booze stops to take in the local flavor. I got to play with some big ass iguanas and buy some worthless crap before returning. I tried to sell my wife to some of the locals but that happened to be the moment that they conveniently no hablo inglés’d me. Then I got "wife looked" and had to move on.

We went on a jungle speed boat tour. It was a lie as there was no jungle involved but it was still a good time. We were given a small speed boat and followed the guide to a snorkel site. One lady wrecked into another boat (no damage or injuries) but other than that it was pretty much “you had to be there” shit. I will attach a few pics (I have bad hair in picture uno cause I was going top speed in the golf cart...don’t hate).

Comments

[cristina]

Im glad i didnt have to read a blog on how you got raped by a mob of dolphins; good thinking on foregoing that!

[Kristi S]

Oh, I remember Isla Mujeres! I ended up there after the Booze Cruise and the guys were getting totally butt-ass-naked on stage during the hot dance contest. Oh, fun times. The Jungle Tour...I did that also but we had a two-person Jet Ski instead fo mini speed boat and it was old as hell and a very windy day. To make a long story short, I lost one of my friends in the ocean that day...she came off the back of my jetski. We found her but I have been traumitized ever since. No more rough waters or jet-skis for this chica!!!!!

[Robyn]

The diving looks pretty cool, I've always wanted to do that. Too bad you were with douche bags.

[Kim]

Kristi S told me to find this post and tell you I was the friend that she lost in the ocean. I still have nightmares.