TFT... Cougar!! RUN!!!

So Denise tells me about this Thought for Thursday thing and I still can’t quite wrap my head around it (I’m a boy, and we are simple creatures). However she did say that all the kool kids were doing it and if I wanted to fit in I must comply. So here goes my first “Thought for Thursday”.

Side note; I am poaching this from my other blog that few people see as it drew quite a bit of discussion and controversy. Keep in mind this conclusion was drawn by group consensus and not an individual (specifically me) thus the messenger is not to be killed if you don’t like the content. The forum is still open (smoldering) as the original post was from Monday this week. (Helm’s now thinking “poaching’ was the wrong word for this post)

My buddy Heath has for some reason recently become obsessed with cougars. Not the animal mind you but cougar as term of endearment assigned to a specific demographic of women that are on the prowl for younger men. A group of us had determined that the term “cougar” itself was far too general in nature, did some research, took it to the next level, and the following are the findings. Be warned, you might not agree with results but you can't argue this kind of science.

Girls between the ages of 21 to 27 are kittens. Naive, impressionable, and at times are known to bite and scratch when they get excited. Watch for short attention spans and stalking.

Ladies from 28 to 39 are pumas. More mature and cautious, know where danger lurks and how to stay out of trouble for the most part.

Women from 39 to 48 are the aforementioned cougars. The cougar has many tells, so numerous that I'm not even going to get started listing any…you will know when you see one and beware! Last thing you want is to be in the ER having acrylic nails dug out of your back.

From 48 to 59 is the lioness. Some of the signs are the straight-fro, animal print clothing, aqua colored eye shadow and a horrible floral perfume so you can smell them coming. Not as dangerous or fast as the cougar but even more desperate which can be dangerous in itself.

60 + is old bitch (dont hate on me as I didn't come up with this one). Not much of a threat but is still out on the prowl with occasional success.

So there you have it. If you have any questions feel free to e mail me the scenario to be reviewed by the panel (which in all fairness includes women). There are exceptions to be made by category however they are few, far, and between.

Mission accomplished. My first TFT is in the books. Looking back I fail to see how post this qualifies as a thought (at least I got the Thursday part right). I guess I get an F+ for my efforts. If there is any interest Jenna posted an awesome rebuttal to this that I can re post. All comments are not only welcomed but encouraged. That’s what TFT is all about right?

Comments

[Denise H.]

I think that Brandy and I will be Puma's Forever!! Good Post Helm.

[Kristi S]

Cougars....sugar mamas, whats the diff?
I have a good friend who has lived with a woman at least 15 years older than him for a few years now. My 23 year old cousin is dating a 35 year old woman. Cool for them, but I can't see myself dating someone that much younger than myself (but check on me again in 15 years! LOL)

[Robyn]

I think that women are starting to have more money and power in their 40's, so they are looking for the male version of the trophy wife.

[Knaphrodesiac]

I suppose I fall into the puma category, but my fiance is eight years my junior, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Good thought, and next Thursday, I'll try to post my own TFT.